At War with the Squirrels, Part 2

     Part 1 of At War With The Squirrels drew a large, animated and creative response from readers.  The suggestions for combating squirrels sent me back to Sun Tzu’s classic The Art of War to look for parallels between my readers’ suggestions and the precepts set forth by the author.

Although written in the 5^th century BC, The Art of War should be read by anyone entering battle today.  Sun Tzu wrote this guidebook for generals -- commanders of the field and the troops.  It is equally useful in the battlefield and the boardroom.  But does it apply to gardening in a hostile environment?  Isn’t this a kind of warfare too? 

Sun Tzu identifies seven considerations by which one can forecast victory or defeat.  Although they all apply in some manner to our squirrel war, the second condition is the most relevant:  “Which of the two sovereigns is imbued with the Moral Law.”  Indeed, if this battle were to be observed from another planet, who would appear to be the superior species?  The one attacking from above?  Or the one on the defensive below, picking up debris while ducking to evade the assault?

1. All warfare is based on deception.

We started with this premise, and in Part 1 I attempted to deceive.  Having observed the squirrels shelling nuts on my bluestone front walk and the 4’ bluestone squares of my now unusable terrace, I paved an area adjacent to the newly located walnut storage corner of the garden.  The plan was to lure the squirrels away from the house, and it seems to have worked for the sorting component of the problem, but has not stopped the attacks.

2.Hold out bait to entice the enemy.  Feign disorder and crush him.

Paola and KC:  We thought maybe setting up a dispenser with rugelach might distract the squirrels from the garden.

3. In all fighting, the direct method may be used for joining battle, but indirect methods will be needed to secure victory.

Sally: You might want to try an ultrasonic deterrent. I have one for my window box; the squirrels come all the way to the 4^th floor via the fire escape.

Tom: I might try playing some of Trump’s campaign speeches through loudspeakers at them.  Those that don’t die laughing deserve to live.

4. Rouse him, and learn the principle of his activity or inactivity.  Force him to reveal himself, so as to find out his vulnerable spots.

Dacie:  How about a dog, especially a Jack Russell terrier?

Prudence:  Try sprinkling camphor balls near their lair.

5. In war, let your great object be victory, not lengthy campaigns.

Susan: No mention of killing the damn tree?

6. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy is provided by the enemy himself.

Jean: Good luck with your battle, but I’ve never heard of  a human winning.

7. If the campaign is protracted, the resources of the State will not be equal to the strain.

8. The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but in our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.

My position is totally assailable, so I continue to plot for protection.  My latest idea is to build a second arbor parallel to the first and erect shade sails using the house wall and the arbor posts as anchors.  An alternative is two rows of tensioning cables that will span the 22 feet of terrace, one above the other.  The lower cables could support vines, while the upper cables could hold a shade cloth to be used only seasonally. The third option appeared in Part 1, an open frame peaked roof, covered seasonally in protective cloth.  It is still in the running.

9. The difficulty of tactical maneuvering consists in turning the devious into the direct, and misfortune into gain.

Jonathan:  Walnut husks are one of the few natural dyes that do not require a mordant or fixative.  If I were you I would just spread canvas over the patio for the entire fall.  Allow the walnuts to drop and stain the canvas.  When winter approaches and the nuts stop falling, examine the canvas and select a section to stretch and frame.  I bet the results, a perfectly natural abstract expressionist work related to the staining techniques of Frankenthaler and the palette of Pollack and Kline and the “nature spirit” of Pousette-Dart will be astonishing.